I'll probably never finish this, so never mind.

this is what happens when gloria tries to come up with a story idea for the epic and realizes that if she writes about something she truly cares about, she’ll probably come off as way too informal for a formal newspaper that 1900+ people will read. -_-


Let me face facts - I’m a total prude. I feel naked when I jump into a pair of shorts, I resemble a tomato from blushing so much whenever I watch a video online in which some macho hunk takes off his shirt and grins at the screen mischievously, and there are days when I wake up and kinda wish I could just spend the rest of my life in turtlenecks and long jeans. I don’t think sex is disgusting, but I’d much rather think of it as a biological process rather than what my dentist’s copy of Cosmopolitan tells me it is (“Sex: the Best Form of Entertainment!! Learn 500 More Ways to Have Even More Fun in Bed”) so I won’t have to hide under my bed from embarrassment.

Given this information, it should come as no surprise that when Leesa Li updated the Welcome Back Dance event page on Facebook with news that freaking was now permitted at dances, my mouth formed a perfect frown and my mind started screaming “NONONONONONOBADBADBADBAD” to itself as quickly as I’d race for a bowl of macaroni after not having anything to eat for an hour (hint: that’s pretty damn fast.) I was 100% against the lift of the no-freaking rule, and didn’t really understand the happy comments that were dominating the wall of the event page. Most of the time, I do my best not to judge, but when I loaded up Facebook and saw those celebratory comments, I found myself tsking at everyone and feeling rather revolted. Keep in mind that other than a rather disturbing Youtube video that someone forced me to watch after I asked him/her what freaking was, I’ve never actually seen what freaking is. Nevertheless, I made some calculations in my head for about, oh five seconds, and decided that if I’m not comfortable with rubbing my genitalia against the seat (or front, I suppose) of some hot guy’s pants, then neither should you, and that’s that.