I don’t know if anyone I follow happens to be sensitive about losing followers, but just in case, I figured that I may as well express in writing when and why I usually press the “Unfollow” button because it’s been on my mind of late and I need to spit it out before I start going to sleep every night thinking “should I unfollow so-and-so because of this-and-this? But…” That would drive me insane. It would also make me look insane, but that’s a different story and I’d rather not make myself look even more strange than I already probably do to you. Thus, this blog entry is for mostly me but maybe you, so I can sort out my thoughts and go to sleep thinking about normal things, like what there is to eat (for tomorrow, not during my sleep, you doofuses.)
Look, if I unfollow you, it doesn’t mean that I think you’re a boring piece of shit. Usually when I choose to unfollow a person, it means either a.) you’re writing too much (will go into detail later), or b.) you’ve decided to claim the title of Royal Queen of Reblogging for yourself (will go into detail later.)
Now, I will explain both of these reasons in detail. I expect you to all be gasping in surprise at this moment, kthx.
a.) You’re writing too much. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Tumblr has this whole community of aspiring writers who want to wow~* the world with their words. That idea appeals to me too, except from the looks of it, you need to be super deep and equipped with the ability to find symbolism in everything to do so, as you won’t be able to impress everyone any way else. Too bad for me; I’m the exact opposite of that. I force myself not to overthink things to keep myself happy and suppress negative feelings. It’s okay, ’cause this way no unwanted eyes will ever see my blog.
But I digress, so let me get back to the point. Sometimes, I will find an interesting writer (that’s you), so I’ll click the follow button and wait happily at my desk to see your next work. When it comes out, if it’s taking up the entire length of my monitor, I will stare at in horror and doubt my willingness to read your thoughts. I’m sorry, but it’s true. When people write super-long entries about whatever it is they feel like talking about, this feeling bubbles up inside of me known as “DNW.” In short, the definition of “DNW” when applied in such a scenario would be something among the lines of “I’d rather walk the length of the Great Wall of China in its entirety … backwards. While doing a handstand. With one hand.” No offense – I’m sure your posts are all great, it’s just that I have the shortest attention span in the galaxy and at 1:46AM, which is usually when I decide to go on Tumblr (no wonder why I’m so sleepy during the day), I simply can’t handle your thoughts. If you fall in category A, I’ll probably re-follow you back within a few days out of both guilt and curiosity. Sound good?
b.) You decide to claim the title of Royal Queen of Reblogging, 2010 Edition. Does this really need any explaining?
On the other hand, I will probably be your #1 fan if you have a sense of humor. There are certain blogs on here that I will never even think about cutting off my connections with, simply because you make me laugh, whether you intend to do so or not. Really, I think that’s my only requirement for following: that you amuse me.
Well, that’s all I can think of at the top of my head anyway. And considering the fact that it’s 2 in the morning right now, you’re going to have to excuse me if you’re not impressed. Thanks <3
#203948023 of Gloria’s Extremely Deep Entries to Change Your Lives is now finished. /end sarcasm
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